The Worst Hell I Can Imagine…

I’ve really struggled with motivation recently, so much so, that my running efforts have been pretty much non existent.

motivational running poster

I miss the mornings that I’d wake up ready to face the tarmac. I was loaded with energy and pumped – it was almost as if I needed to get out there and lose myself for an hour or so.

The more I ran, the faster I got. In turn, I was happier and as running got easier, I’d be able to lose myself in thought. In fact, losing yourself in thought was for me one of the greatest things about running. I was at one with myself and I could mull over anything and everything from major life decisions to trivial things like what I’d be having for dinner.

As my running peaked, I grew in confidence, to the point of arrogance – though I hope that I never completely crossed that line (or at least not without a little dry humour).

Fast forwarding two years since my 19th place finish in the Leigh 10k and I’m probably in the worst place that I’ve ever been – in terms of running. Life’s great and I love the sunshine and chilled out stance towards working life. But I’m struggling, like really struggling with getting back out there.

It’s often said that the hardest step for a runner is the first one out of the door. And that’s true. But it’s not quite that easy, even when out on the pavement – I want to lose myself, think about life decisions once again; where to travel next, whether to go home to the UK and of course, what to have for dinner. I can’t.

The pavement was once my home. I know it’s only a matter of time and effort before I can shadow the runner I was. My main hurdle is that I’m never on the road long enough to think about things, I’m lethargic and lacking rhythm before I’ve even hit the half hour mark.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. A old friend of mine sent me a motivational photo the other day that clarified things for me;

lifestyle motivationI’m not saying it’s going to be easy to get back out there. But I refuse to waste a talent that I was fortunate enough to have been given by God.

;

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6 thoughts on “The Worst Hell I Can Imagine…

  1. You are not alone – i’ve had some major life changes going on (break up, nowhere to live etc) so the last thing I’ve had time or energy for us running or exercising. I also took up smoking and drinking again (now stopped). Aside from the physical, i’ve noticed my mental health has been affected too with the lack of endorphins. You can do it and in no time at all you will be back in it. I ran 5k the other day and was really amazed at my time – was only just shy of pb! X

    • Hey Sian,
      Congrats on the 5k – It shows what we can achieve when we are fuelled by something other than desire. Good luck with building on that 🙂
      Sorry to hear about the life changes, but if it’s any consolation, my running was at its best when I was single – at least it’ll give you time to regroup and reconsider things 🙂
      Keep up the good work – Terence xx

  2. You are so not alone. I was side lined from running for a bit and now that I am released to run its incredibly hard and extremy frustrating trying to get back to that happy and pretty perfect place I felt I was before. Like I have lost a drive in me, though I havent lost the desire. This too shall pass. The runner within you, me and anyone else struggling won’t let it hang on forever. Wishing you the best.

    • Thanks for your kind words. I went for a short 5 mile run last night, so feeling better for getting out.
      Think I’ll try a little run streak – trying to get out every day for two months, even if it’s just for 3 miles. Recovery runs are still runs after all.
      All the best, Terence xx

  3. Hey man, Shaun who runs with the nike run club here. If you need someone else to get out there with from time to time, let me know. I know what a big motivation a training partner can be, especially one with the same ability. If it’s just loops of Blackwattle Bay or Pyrmont wharves, or whatever. I’m in a purple patch for motivation right now, so seriously, if you need any to rub off, let me know!
    Shaun (who runs with nike run club (the skinny brown haired one))

    • Hey Shaun,
      Thanks for you message. Since I wrote this post, I began a run streak and have been out on the pavement for 6 consecutive days. I meant to get down to the running club this evening but just got home too late from work.
      A running partner sounds great & I’m honestly free any evening in the week or weekend.
      Drop me an email at terence.noah.craven (at) gmail.com & we can arrange a couple of training sessions.
      Thanks again man, I look forward to your email.
      Peace – Terence

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